Realities

The realities of pregnancy have had me thinking, saying and hearing some pretty interesting things over the months so I thought I'd share a few...  Some are from conversations with other moms about their memories of their first pregnancies.. so probably some of these only other preggos and mommies will know what I'm talking about...and some others are things heard and overheard from doctors and nurses that would have most normal people going "WHAT?"

"Honey, does my ass look smaller or is my stomach just that much bigger now?"

"...if it's coming out light greenish and snot like it's normal... "

"I really need to ::belch::... burp"

"::sneeze:: ...oops!"

"whoa! it comes out from more than one place?"

"Did you smell it??"

"Doesn't counting sheep help?" - "It takes 7 pillows just to get comfortable, and that comfort usually only lasts about 10 minutes... if I'm not out by then, I have to adjust and start all over.  So no, sheep aren't really cutting it."

"When does it end?!"

Some other realities of pegnancy...

You have to pee uncontrollably, nonstop, every day and night except when the doctor asks for a sample.  Then, nada.

You don't know how it happens, but one minute you will be walking along just fine and the next, you will be laying on the ground.  Somewhere in between, you put your foot somewhere you couldn't see and your loose ligaments gave out, your new center of balance took and over and now you are down.

Stretch marks happen.  Get over it.

Prepare for "Whoa..."- Then people tell you just how big you are (like you didn't already know).

Pickles and ice cream is a sham.